Contributed to comp.os.linux.advocacy by Mark
Woodward (with additions by Birger Wathne)
UNIX Airways
Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport.
They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece,
arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.
Air DOS
Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides; then they jump on and let the
plane coast until it hits the ground again. They then push again, jump on
again, and so on...
Mac Airlines
All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act
exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently
but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything
will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.
Windows Air
The airport terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy
baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in
the air the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.
Windows NT Air
Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out
all the other aircraft within a 40 mile radius when it explodes.
Windows XP Air
Just like Windows NT Air, but planes don't explode as often.
Windows Vista Air
Just like Windows XP Air, but with more futuristic look and a pyrotechnic
display in the lounge. Costs even more, and all those friendly stewards seem
more sluggish. Uses even bigger planes without increasing capacity or
legroom. If you don't contact a steward to have your ticket verified within 30
minutes after departure you get kicked off.
Linux Air
Employees of all the other OS airlines decide to run their own airline. They
build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They
charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also
download and print the ticket yourself. When you board the plane you are given
a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once
settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and
arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You
try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they
can say is "You had to do what with the seat?"
